February 2012
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it's only 1 and I'm already making everything...
things I misheard on tv just now
100% cod =/= 100% cock
for just pennies a day! =/= for just panties a day!
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that moment when celebrity tattoo mishaps suddenly become infinitely more interesting than your 10-page research paper that’s due tuesday
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Woman: Can I have birth control?
Government: No.
Woman: I got pregnant because I didn't have birth control and I don't want the fetus. Can I have an abortion?
Government: No.
Woman: I gave birth to my child but since I wasn't expecting it, I can't afford daycare. Can I have help paying for it?
Government: No.
Woman: My boyfriend isn't excited about sex anymore, because I lost my figure due to pregnancy. Will you pay for his erectile dysfunction pills?
Government: Yes.
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